June 29, 2007

Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers and acts of love and kindness to our family. People ask how we are and I respond, “Overwhelmed.” Which seems to be the healthy place to be after a tragedy such as this. This was Kelly’s dad, so she’s dealing with a whole separate layer of emotions.

I’m thinking of writing a new book titled “Grieving Your Way to a Slimmer You.” While it’s not a very fun program, it appears to be quite effective.

I’ve come to cherish Sabbaths. From the time I wake up to when I go to bed, I can’t get the loss or my responsibilities to the family off my mind. There seems to be so much to do as trustee for this estate. Sabbath allows me to discipline myself away from responsibility for 24 hours. Hallelujah!

Routine and schedules will be my anchor to sanity. I know I must begin to live as if I have a life other than estate manager. I’m husband and father, pastor and student. These are what I must juggle and balance and wrestle with. You have your own life. You know what pressures life brings to bear on our time and attention. I don’t need sympathy or people to feel badly for me over what has happened. I need a safe place to work this through. And I am being given that – what a gift!

We camped for three nights at Boothe Park this week. No phones, the smell of camp fires and the taste of roasted marshmallows. It’s good to wake up to the sound of birds and creeks.

“May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble; May the name of the God of Jacob defend you; May He send you help from the sanctuary, And strengthen you out of Zion” Psalm 20:1-2

Rejoicing in hope,
Pastor Steve